5 secret beliefs that are holding you back

money-evil-9660
The behaviour they cause and the fears and desires that drive them. At the end, something that might change your mind.

The world is changing. How are you coping with that?

Sometimes it’s hard to challenge these beliefs because we don’t realise we have them.

Below are 5 beliefs that you may or may not have internalised with out realising.

 

 

Belief 1: Time is Money. 

Behaviour:

You think the only way to make make more money is :

A: Work more hours.

B: Make your time worth more. (Qualifications, experience etc.)

If you have a family, you pay for childcare. You might be waiting for kids to start school so you can work more.

You take on extra work. 

Desire:

To give you and your family security everything they need.

Fear:

No alternative, loose home, can’t eat, can’t pay bills.

Do not want to be labeled a dreamer or a layabout.

Difficult question:

What is more important: more money or more time?

Would your family benefit more from you being present, now or in 30 years?

 

 
 

 

Belief 2: Someone else will recognise and rewarded us for working hard. 

Behavior:  You are working towards a promotion or better job. 

This is mainly achieved by second guessing what someone else wants.

You sometimes feel you are trying to look busy and valuable rather achieve an outcome efficiently and effectively.

You put in extra hours and effort for a boss who’s so focused on their own survival and promotion, they only notice you if you are a problem or you can benefit them. 

You spend time worrying about what people think of you. 

You manage and promote soundbites about yourself: eg “hard worker”, “reliable”, “team player” and try to avoid labels like, “unsocial”, “difficult”, “late”.

Desire:

Autonomy.

A promotion; would mean more time and financial freedom. More power to make decisions for yourself. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could work in a way where you can take positive action when you see a chance, without second guessing a boss who’s trying to second guess their boss? When the consequence of making mistakes is an opportunity to learn and achieve more, not be reprimanded like a child.

To be validated as valuable.

Fear: If you do not please the person in charge of you, you will lose your job, potential promotion or a positive reference for another job. 

 

Difficult question:

Do you need someone else to say you are worthy  to be successful?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Belief 3: You have no power/ agency or opportunity to make a change. 

Behavior: You wait or hope for something external in the future to make things more bearable.

You feel all you can do in the present is survive. 

You use quick escapism fixes like tv, food or drink to feel good. 

You use time off to relax and recuperate enough to face another week of anxiety and stress at work.

Desire: to have the time, money and freedom to grow and develop in a way that suits you? To explore new places, work on your relationships and have great experiences. 

Fear: That you will fail at trying something else, that you need time and money to start something of your own. You could waste both if you tried.

 

 

 

 

Belief 4: If you want it enough your future will just happen.

Behavior:

You spend time visualising what your life will look like in the future? Perhaps you picture your house or your business.

You don’t have a clear plan and understanding of what you have to do today and then tomorrow to bring it about. 

You jump from one idea to another, most likely focusing on external things like equipment and money rather than a strategy. 

You go through waves of carpet bombing CV’s and job applications in the hope that one will give you more satisfaction than your current job.

You occasionally go through bouts of lottery.

You are often in a grey area, you feel anxious about not working. But when you do work you jump from one thing to another. You don’t commit.

You often making impulse purchases and decisions.

Eventually this leads to anxiety and self doubt and most probably debt and some bad decisions

Desire:

To have certainty that you are taking the right action everyday towards a positive future, that you can be clear about the days task and then be free to focus on the things that really matter.

Fear:

That you are wasting your time and that others will laugh at you for trying.

 

 

 

Belief 5: That your financial and self worth is limited by your qualifications and experience.

Behaviour:

You use not having a specific qualification or experience as an excuse not to apply for jobs that excite you or start your own business. 

You shy away from new challenges. 

You might encourage or wait for a partner, friend or family member to take on a job or task that realistically they are no better qualified to attempt than you.

As a result you miss out on an opportunity to learn and the cycle continues.

Fear of failure often keeps people in their comfort zone but never takes them to where they want to be.

Desire:

To be recognised as accomplished and have an identity (ideally something truly inline with your values)

Fear:

Failure, that you need something more than your own self belief to qualify you to try something. You require validation from someone else.

 

 

 

 

 

Belief 6 (bonus belief): Money is the root of all evil, desiring or pursuing it is greedy and selfish.

Behavior:

You look down on people who have lots of it and assume that it can only be achieved or gained by ill gotten means. You see money as a consequence of resources (human or natural) being abused or capitalised.

Desire:

To not be a slave to money.

Fear:

That you will compromise yourself by seeking money, that you will not be doing the world a service.

 

So what do we do about it?

By this point I bet you’re primed to tear me apart in the comments.

However, before you do let me ask you a question. 

How do you think I got this information? 

Am I an expert on psychology? definitely not, I think I have a C grade As Level somewhere.

Did I do a big survey and collate 100’s of people’s honest answers? Nope.

Have I made some assumptions and posted my opinions as facts? Yes, a little bit.

The truth is, what I’ve written has either really hit home with you or feels completely irrelevant. 

If this made no sense and you’re completely happy with where you are in life then fantastic.

If some or all of what I’ve written hit home then you and I are more alike than you realise.

What you have just read is simply my own beliefs, behaviours, desires and fears.

It’s taken me time to come to terms and own them.

Especially the money one, it took me a long time to come to terms with my love-hate relationship with money.

All I’ve done is changed “I” to “you”. 

I’ve been as honest with myself as possible. I’ve simply gone out on a limb. I believe that other people feel the same.

 

Hypothesis A: There are so many people using the internet that content that is relevant to you will find its way to you, or you to it. 

Maybe a friend recognises something that would appeal to you sense of humor and sends you a meme, 

Perhaps you search directly for what you are seeking, or perhaps you search for things that are symptomatic of something deeper.

Perhaps an algorithm recognises a pattern of behavior, where for lots of people searching for “A” ended up purchasing “X”

Hypothesis B: That Deep down most of us share the same beliefs. Behaviours, desires and fears. 

I really struggled with these beliefs for a long time. Even when I was younger I wanted to grow up and live in the woods.

As I grew up I realised this wasn’t possible as most woods (in the uk) are privately owned, to small, or lacking enough biodiversity to support even one person.

As I got older my priorities changed, I wanted to support my family.

It felt like the above beliefs were beaten into me by life.

Just as I was about to give in and spend my life working a job that just about let me survive and support a family without compromising on my values too much. I found some people who had managed to make money meaningless by breaking the link between time and money. 

I’ve never wanted money, the things I like doing are free. However, admittedly as I get older I like doing them and going for a nice coffee after.

Now I have a family I find it harder to couch surf or wild camp out of sight of landowners and passers-by.

Also, I have a mortgage to pay each month.

There is an undeniable widening gap between the bohemian wild man I see myself as and the 30 something dad, who’s gone full dad bod, working an ok job, who should probably redo the kitchen at some point but doesn’t really have the expertise or aptitude.

As a self-proclaimed outdoorsman, I’ve always avoided technology but it keeps finding its way into my life.

What I want you to do is watch 4 video’s from SFM. They give you a basic understanding of different ways you can make money online.

Stuart explains it far better than I can. What I can do is offer you a safe space to be a bit weird and wacky about what your business might look like. whether it can be a force for good. Let’s talk ethics, the good life and putting the worlds to rights.

Pop your email in the box below, and no I’m not going to sell your data, or hack your mainframe, I can just about put up a blog post.

I will send you the videos one after the other than some other thoughts from me and my lady wife about, how, what, who, where, when and why we’re using the few hours we get between jobs and raising kids to have a punt at a life 

Anyway, it’s late and this is getting weird.

Like I say put your name and email in and we can chat about if this is nuts or not….

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on email
yacht masters

Are bucket lists stupid?

Bucket lists are one of those things that are easy to give up on as you realise that life isn’t going to be quite what you expected.
So is it good to have a bucket list or some big hairy audacious life goals or should you be realistic to avoid disappointment. here’s my experience.

Read More »

Are you valuable?

One of the hardest parts of starting an online business or changing your life is believing you have something valuable to offer.

What that value actually is might surprise you.

Read More »

Are you living life to its full potential?


Learn how we're creating freedom
to live a little more outdoor.

Get our free email series?